


To the Pain

by AriadneKurosaki



Series: IchiRuki Month 2020 [23]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Princess Bride Fusion, F/M, IchiRuki Month, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriadneKurosaki/pseuds/AriadneKurosaki
Summary: The door opens and Prince Omaeda lumbers through, his head brushing the top of the wooden doorframe. His pale blue tunic matches Rukia’s dress and stretches over his bulk. “I thought Mayuri killed you,” he comments. “It’s a pity you didn’t stay dead.”Ichigo smirks and his land falls away from Rukia’s shoulder. “I’m a little harder to kill than that.”
Relationships: Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo
Series: IchiRuki Month 2020 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858906
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	To the Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Day 27, Favorite Scene
> 
> For the IchiRuki Fic Support crew, who convinced me that a Princess Bride fusion would be a lot of fun. And it was!

When Ichigo next opens his eyes, he is lying on an enormous bed in tattered black clothing and he feels as though he has been run over by an entire herd of horses. He groans softly and manages to lift an arm slightly. He remembers pain – a lot of pain – and a distraction by Uryuu and Chad to interrupt the wedding. A distraction so that they can save _Rukia._

He blinks, and she is there, amethyst eyes red-rimmed and her petite form dressed in an opulent ice-blue gown festooned with pearls and fanciful embroidery. Her soft black hair is bound up, and there is a crown on her head. She has a long dagger in one hand, and as he squints, she raises it toward her chest.

“There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world,” Ichigo manages to get out. “It would be a pity to lose yours, midget.”

At the sound of his voice Rukia’s eyes open and the dagger drops back to her side. “Ichigo!” She looks down at the dagger. “Don’t be stupid, I was going to kill Prince Omaeda, not myself.” Then she stares at him. “ _Ichigo._ ” In a second, she is draped over his lean, muscled form, dagger forgotten as her mouth finds his in a passionate kiss.

With a groan Ichigo manages to return her passion like for like, but he can still barely move, and he groans again with the effort to get his arm over her waist. “Gently,” he protests as Rukia’s arms drape around the back of his neck and her fingers slide into his bright orange hair.

“That’s not _usually_ what you say,” Rukia teases, but when he doesn’t tease back, she draws away from him. “What’s happened, Ichigo? You – you look like you can barely move.”

“Your prince’s henchman tortured me,” Ichigo growls, and shifts in the bed. “Uryuu and Chad got me out and carried me here. Said I’d been _mostly_ dead.”

Rukia’s eyes fill with tears and she throws herself on him again, prompting another groan of pain. “It’s too late now.” Tears spill over and Ichigo lifts his head to kiss one of them away.

“How could it be too late?” Ichigo asks, voice gentle.

“I’m already _married._ Well, at least I think I am. There weren’t any vows and all the priest said was “Man and Wife” at the end and…”

“Did you promise yourself to Omaeda?” Ichigo asks, and with an effort his hand strokes gently along her back as his dark amber eyes meet hers.

Rukia shakes her head quickly. “No! I didn’t say anything, the priest just said the words and then Omaeda’s mother and father led me here and left me.”

Ichigo grins up at her. “Then you’re not married, and I don’t have to commit regicide before we get out. Now come on, help me up,” he says.

Rukia hurriedly climbs off of him and manages to get him into a sitting position. Ichigo huffs out his pain but looks around the room. His sword, a slender black blade named Zangetsu, is still at his side and he lowers a hand to it for reassurance. “Take the dagger – you might need it. Where’s _your_ sword?”

She worries at her bottom lip with her teeth. “Prince Omaeda took it away when our betrothal was sealed,” Rukia explains. “He said it wasn’t appropriate for a princess to have a blade sharper than an eating knife.”

Ichigo scoffs and tries to stand but falls back onto the bed. Rukia helps him up in a flurry of white fabric, and his off-hand grabs onto her shoulder for balance. “Thanks,” he grumbles. “Where do you think he put it?”

“His personal treasures are in the next room,” Rukia says. “It could be in there.”

The door opens and Prince Omaeda lumbers through, his head brushing the top of the wooden doorframe. His pale blue tunic matches Rukia’s dress and stretches over his bulk. “I thought Mayuri killed you,” he comments. “It’s a pity you didn’t stay dead.”

Ichigo smirks and his land falls away from Rukia’s shoulder. “I’m a little harder to kill than that.”

Omaeda snorts and looks him over. “You look like you can barely stand.” His hand comes to the hilt of his sword and he draws it, blade pointed at Ichigo. “To the death,” he says, looking surprisingly threatening despite the look of good living and dissipation about him. Rukia’s hand comes up with the dagger in it, and Omaeda just scoffs. “What are you going to do with that little pin?”

Ichigo just rolls his eyes and his hand comes up to gently push Rukia’s wrist away. “No – to the pain,” he corrects.

“I’m not familiar with that one,” Omaeda says ponderously, eyebrows lifted in confusion.

Ichigo smirks. “I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words so that you can understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.”

A strange expression crosses Omaeda’s face. “That may be the first time in my life a man has ever insulted me.”

Ichigo just stares at him. “It won’t be the last. To the pain means this: if we duel and you win, death for me. If we duel and I win, life for you. But life on _my_ terms. The first thing you lose will be your feet. Then your hands, at the wrists. Next your nose. Followed by your tongue. And then your left eye—”

Omaeda pales, but he smirks. “Yes, and then my right eye, and then my ears, I’m sure. Let’s get on with it, pirate.”

“Wrong,” Ichigo shouts. “Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish – every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman who cries “Dear God, what is that thing?” will echo forever with your _perfect_ ears.”

Omaeda just snorts. “You’re bluffing – you can barely stand.”

Ichigo’s hand falls to the hilt of Zangetsu and he draws it from its sheath so that the black blade is pointed at the prince’s heart. “Hardly. Drop your sword, Omaeda.”

The larger man stares at him for a long moment, but then the short sword in his hand clatters to the floor. Ichigo smirks. “Have a seat,” he offers, blade gesturing at a nearby chair.

Omaeda shuffles over to the well-padded chair and sits down, weight sinking into the sickly yellow cushion.

“Tie him up,” Ichigo tells Rukia, and she smirks at him. She finds the rope from the bedcurtains and uses them to bind Omaeda’s arms and legs tightly to the chair. She isn’t particularly gentle – Omaeda grunts when the ropes pinch at his skin.

Footsteps echo on the stone floors outside, and Uryuu bursts in, bleeding from both cheeks and with one hand stuffed inside his shirt to stem the bleeding from an open wound. “Where’s Chad?” he demands, a blade in one hand. He glances at the tied-up Omaeda and smirks.

“I thought he was with you,” Ichigo protests, and nearly falls when he shifts his weight too much. Rukia is there to brace him a moment later, arm going around his waist to take his weight onto her.

“I _knew_ you were bluffing,” Omaeda crows, and flinches when Uryuu’s sword points in his direction.

“Get your sword, Rukia – we may still need it.” Together, Ichigo and Rukia get across the room and throw open the door to Omaeda’s personal treasure room, even as the prince protests behind them. Fortunately, Sode no Shirayuki is in plain sight. Rukia grabs for the sheathed blade – it’s still attached to her old belt – and she buckles it on. The dagger she leaves on a nearby table.

There is a shout from outside the windows suddenly, and Uryuu throws them open. “ _Chad?_ ” His voice echoes down through the windows.

Chad’s lips curve slightly as he looks up at Uryuu through the dark brown bangs falling into his eyes. “Uryuu. I found horses.” He frowns. “You’re bleeding.”

Uryuu grunts. “We’ll take care of it later. We need to get down there, fast. I can hear guards.” Ichigo and Rukia look out the window from behind him, and Chad grins. Omaeda, still tied up behind them, starts shouting for his guards.

“Hello, Rukia,” he says, and Rukia beams down at him.

“Jump and I’ll catch you,” Chad says in his deep, low voice.

Ichigo and Rukia exchange a look. “Uryuu first.” At Uryuu’s look, Rukia adds, “You’re badly hurt.”

With a huff, Uryuu nods to Chad and sheaths his sword. He climbs out of the window, hand still covering his wounded stomach, and falls into Chad’s arms. The larger man grins at him and sets him down carefully.

“Now you, Ichigo.” When the orange-haired man tries to protest Rukia glares at him. “ _You_ were mostly-dead.”

“Fine. But follow fast, no heroics,” Ichigo insists, and climbs out the window. Chad catches him as well, and Ichigo watches as Rukia follows, skirt fluttering and flowing in the air until Chad’s arms catch onto the petite woman.

Rukia unceremoniously slashes her skirt down the front and tears off a long strip. “Uryuu, come here. Let me bandage you,” she orders.

The archer and swordsman grimaces and looks around. “We don’t have much time, the guards are going to find us,” he urges. But when she glares at him, he pulls his hand away from his stomach and lets her bind him tightly as he grunts in pain.

“That should hold until we can get you to a healer,” Rukia says, and with Chad’s help she mounts her horse. Ichigo and Uryuu climb onto the other two horses with Chad’s help, and Chad takes the last. With Ichigo leading they gallop into the night, quickly outrunning the guards and courtiers of Prince Omaeda’s castle.

They ride until they reach a small cabin in the woods, and Ichigo bangs on the door. They are shrouded in darkness, with the only light being that coming from the cabin window. When it opens, an older man with blond hair and a striped hat answers. “Back so soon?” he asks, and smirks.

“Uryuu’s injured,” Chad grunts.

The blond raises the lantern in his hand and looks over the tall, pale man with bloodied white silk wrapped around his stomach. “Well, at least he’s not even mostly dead. In, in, come in,” he drawls.

“Who is _this_?” Rukia asks in a whisper as Chad helps Uryuu inside.

“They call him Miracle Max,” Ichigo explains.

From inside the hut comes a shout, “It’s _Urahara!_ ”

* * *

They spend the night at _Urahara’s_ while he works on Uryuu’s wounds. Chad watches over Uryuu with an expression on his face that can’t quite be placed, and Rukia feeds and waters the horses before falling asleep on Ichigo’s shoulder.

In the morning Yoruichi, Urahara’s wife, trades Rukia clean but plain clothes for her torn up bridal gown and then they are off again, riding for miles through forest and grassland. One hundred miles from Prince Omaeda’s castle, they stop for a rest and Ichigo grins at his three companions. “I think we’ve outrun them,” he says, “and I have an offer for you both. Come back to the ship with me and join my crew. I was planning to retire once I found Rukia, but on the ship we won’t be as easy for Omaeda to find if he decides to pursue us again.”

Rukia looks up at him, an eyebrow arched. “And what is my role?” she demands.

Ichigo grins at her and Uryuu nudges Chad lightly. They lead their horses a short distance away as Ichigo’s hand finds Rukia’s and he tugs her into his arms. “Don’t you already know?” he asks.

Her expression softens. “I want to hear you say it,” Rukia admits, as loose strands of hair blow around her face in the afternoon wind.

“You, Rukia Kuchiki,” he says, and draws her in even closer as he leans down, “Will be my bride, if you say yes.”

Before he can kiss her, Rukia points out, “You haven’t _asked_ anything.”

Ichigo’s lips curve in a smile. “Will you marry me, Rukia?”

“Yes, I will.” She leans up to close the last of the gap between them and their lips meet. It is said that since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This kiss surpasses them all and leaves them both breathless and smiling as they look into one another’s eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based heavily on the final minutes of The Princess Bride. Some dialogue is taken directly from the movie, as are most of the last two sentences of this work.


End file.
